ABRIDGED JUNKIES: 50% Off

Part of Abridged Junkies, an Anime Junkies blog. The following is the review of a fan-based parody. Free is owned by whoever owns it, since Octopimp doesn’t really talk about them in the beginning like most abridgers. Anyways, let’s get started.
I do apologize, for those of you used to my incessant ramblings. But no amount of eloquent wordplay and usage of comparisons that sometimes don’t go anywhere will be able to prepare you for what you’re about to hear.

From the two guys that saw Free!!, here comes an abridged series that may be free to you, but will always and forever be…50% Off!
WRITING

Created by Octopimp and Sparky, the show is about a situational comedy featuring four teenage boys who are somehow members of an amateur drug cartel. Then for whatever reason, they decide to form a swim team after witnessing the destruction of their old swim club and having a run in with their old friend, Rin Matsuoka. The latter’s sister, a fujoshi named Kou/Gou (or whatever the hell her name is) has recently been paroled after taking the fall for the cartel leader, Nagisa Hazuki, and decides to help the former(?) criminals get their lives together and help them form this swim team, though perhaps this is less motivated by any genuine feelings for the idiots who sold her out and more for sexual feelings she will derive over getting the chance to see half-naked men on a regular basis. Their advisor, Miho Amakata, is a literature teacher who is secretly a seasoned criminal using her job as a cover for her illicit activities, and the boys manage to recruit Coach Sasabe to train them again, even though by this point he has become so deranged to the point he would literally run down to the highway and yell rants at people. Together, these rag tag band of criminals/creepy fujoshis plan to work hard enough to make it to the local high school swim meet and make their school proud. 

My excellent descriptive nature aside, this is, word-for-word,the entire premise behind 50% Off. Octopimp and Sparky have actually made a fan service-pandering show with unnecessary romance-drama and actually made it more interesting than the original. The shippings are still there (Nagisa x Rei, Makoto x Haruka, Rin x Haruka) but they actually managed to REMOVE some of the unnecessary drama (so I’m told) and infuse the relationships with a lot more substance. It makes a lot less sense the more I explain it, so I’d just pause reading right now and just go check out 50% Off right now in the link below.

When you come back, make sure to check out the character reviews I have right here.

CHARACTERS/VOICES

HARUKA “HARU” NANASE


(Voiced by Sparky)

The protagonist of 50% Off, Haru is less of a person and rather just a shell of a human being; an accurate title, though perhaps not the official designation, would probably be “The Citadel of Harus”.

Haru is nothing more than a collection of Harus all occupying the same headspace, always fighting for control over what Haru Prime ends up doing on a day-to-day basis. The Citadel is currently being ruled by the Supreme Overlord of Harus, “Haru”. The Supreme Overlord was thought to have been killed by a member of the Council of Harus (known by his friends as “Haru”), but managed to survive and destroy the Council with his bare hands. This Haru appears to be the only one capable of reading, which is perhaps what made his ascension to Supreme Overlord so effortless. Aided by his loyal servant Thrall (formerly Haru), he helps Haru Prime out of his slump after losing the prelims to come back during the relay. It is unknown if the Supreme Overlord will succeed in his mission, but we are either all rooting for him or praying a Haru will rise from the ashes of the Haru a Republic and overthrow Supreme Overlord Haru…
MAKOTO TACHIBANA


(Voiced by Octopimp)

Having been raised nicely by his father rather when he was but a wee child, Makoto has developed into a fine young man, with both healthy feelings of romance for his friend Haruka Nanase, and healthy fears of the ocean goblin who steals your teeth if you don’t do whatever your parents tell you to do.

Makoto will usually break into Haru’s house in order to check in on him whenever possible, get unwittingly involved into Nagisa’s life of crime and usually get out Unscathed, and usually acts as team mom for his teammates whenever possible.

NAGISA “THUGISA” HAZUKI


(Voiced by Octopimp)

Known to himself as a criminal mastermind/entrepreneur, Nagisa has been involved in a life of crime ever since he was a young child. After breaking out of jail at the beginning of the show, he comes back and decides to be part of the swim team, while still continuing his illlicit activities. Nagisa is also well-known rapper, having been the author of several albums. But that’s besides the point. He is ruthless when it comes to drug usage and committing heinous felonies, and he constantly uses his friends for his illicit activities.

Friends who, for whatever reason, still continue to hang out with him. Says more about them than it does about him, really.

REI RYUGAZAKI


Originally shown as some jackass who Nagisa is obsessed with, Rei has shown to be even more sociopathic and layered as the series has progressed. He initially only stuck around Nagisa in order to learn more about his “associates”, perhaps with the intent of killing them, believing that “no one would notice”. Upon first contact, however, the Council of Harus put Rei in his place by calling upon the spirits of darkness, branding Rei as an usurper and slowly ridding Rei of his inner darkness.

He now shows up as more comic relief than anything, slowly beginning to warm up to the delinquent trying to get into his pants, as well as those other people he’s forced to swim with. Even though he can barely swim himself.

RIN MATSUOKA


(Voiced by Sparky)

A boy rumored to have been blessed by the shark gods with magnificent teeth, Rin is obsessed with the idea of being the best swimmer and beating his dad from the grave. He also has an irrational hatred for Haru, but also loves him.

Not that much removed from the show, TBH. Oh, and he’s really into pop music in the version. Like obsessed with it.

OVERALL

Watch it. Right now. Check out the link right now.

Please. Just do it.

I’m an Anime Junkie, and I rate this abridged series a 10 out of 10.

NEWS JUNKIES (Week of Mar 6-12)

Part of News Junkies, an Anime Junkies blog.

Hey all you Junkies!! I know you’re used to long monologues, but I also know you probably hate too, so let’s just get right on it!!

5. Eromanga-sensei gets 2nd promo video and a preview of title song by ClariS


For all you Oreimo fans out there (at least, the ones who haven’t banned anime from their lives forever because of it), there’s good news. The television anime version of Tsukasa Fushimi’s new light novel series Eromanga-Sensei have released their second PV and second commercial just hours earlier. 
Yoshitsuga Matsuoka, the Japanese Kirito, plays Masamune Izumi, a light novel writer with a shut in sister, Sagiri Izumi. She’s basically hasn’t left her room in a year, demanding her brother bring her meals to her as she stomps on the floor. Masamune’s novel editor, nicknamed “Eromanga Sensei”, is assumed by the former to be some fat, disgusting pervert with really mad skills. But it turns out that the artist is none other than his own sister!! To make things even more hectic, they have to team up against their biggest rival, a beautiful best-selling shojou manga author! 
Enjoy it when it comes out!
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2017-03-12/eromanga-sensei-anime-2nd-promo-video-ad-preview-claris-theme-song/.113321
4. BBC Reporter Claims Anime and Manga Produces Pedophilia


As if we didn’t have enough stigma placed against us, Girls unz Panzer original character designer Takeshi Nogami spoke on Twitter about how he sat down with BBC reporter Stacey Dooley for a 3 hour interview for a documentary called “Young Sex for Sale in Japan”.
When it came to the subject of “human desire”, Nogami claimed that all humans had dark desires and needed an outlet to act on them. Dooley, on the other hand, believed all humans were born pure and were only corrupted by the use of media showing things of a gory and erotic nature. For reasons, this interview was not included in the final documentary, so make your own judgements.
http://goboiano.com/bbc-reporter-claims-anime-and-manga-promotes-pedophilia/
3. Original ‘Ghost in the Shell’ Voice Actors Will Dub Live-Action Remake for Japanese Release


Much like the Death Note crew did for the first two live-action movies, ‘Ghost in the Shell’ will be recruiting most of the original voice cast to reprise their worlds for the Japanese dub of the new movie set to preimiere later this year. Notable names include Akio Otsuka, Koichi Yamadera, and Atsuko Tanaka. 
Reportedly, this does little to quench concerns of Western movie goers snubbed by Hollywood in the past when it came to anime adaptations of films. On the contrary, it just seemed to make them even more jealous of the fact that they weren’t Japanese.
http://collider.com/ghost-in-the-shell-voice-actors-dub-japan/
2. Sword Art Online Movie Ranks in Top 10 in Thailand, South Korea, Taiwan, Mexico


…that is, exactly what is says. Just further proof to some people that you don’t have to be the best to get all the money. That’s probably the mantra Seto Kaiba uses on himself every night he’s up tossing and turning from his nightmares of losing to Yugi.
Ordinal Scale actually managed to be the first movie since your name to dominate as #1 in both weekend attendance and weekend box office receipt totals at once. How about that?
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2017-03-12/sword-art-online-movie-ranks-in-top-10-in-thailand-s-korea-taiwan-mexico/.113327
1. INDEX III IS COMING!!


This is not a drill! Index Season 3 is coming!
While no official date has been set, Kazuma Mike has stated on Twitter to “please wait a little longer for season 3”!! That’s all I wanna say on this topic, as I’m cautiously optimistic for the future!

Well, that’s it for news this week, all you Junkies! Happy reading and viewing, and hope to hear what news you read about in the anime world! Ciao!